Whispers of forever
by Katharen Silver
Summary: It was in her top drawer. No one ever would have found it under normal circumstances. Teresa knew Patrick would be the one sitting in her dark office she left it there for him...Now has a fluffy alt ending for anyone who's interested. Enjoy.
1. Whispers of forever

A/N: So this is my first attempt at a purely angst story. I have to admit I cried when I wrote it, so fair warning. It doesn't seem right to say I hope you enjoy it, so I'm just going to say I hope you feel it.

Happy New Year everyone.

* * *

**The letter was in her top drawer. No one ever would have found it. Jane knew that's why he left it there for him, because she knew he would be the one, he would be the one sitting in her dark office putting off what he knew he had to do.**

* * *

_Dear Patrick, _

_ I never meant for things to happen this way, and you were right, I will miss you. _

* * *

Patrick Jane watched as she crossed the bullpen her head down. He knew she was tiered; knew that her patience was wearing thin, and that he was making it worse rather than better. Two bodies in less than a month, it was obvious to everyone that Red John was sending them a message, and she was getting the message just as loudly as he was.

Teresa Lisbon felt herself being pulled apart; her heart colliding painfully with her sense of duty. She had to catch Red John, while still protecting her team including Jane, even if he didn't want the protection.

Her team watched her open her office door and close it with a snap. She had been on edge all week, and it wasn't hard to figure out why. Between Red John and Jane she was exhausted.

Later Jane would tell them that he did it to take her mind off the victims, off Red John, but the truth was he did it to make her smile and to see her reaction.

Three, two, one, Jane counted in his head eyes closed with a small smile.

"Damn it Jane!"

He sat up with his most innocent smile as Teresa stormed out of her office, her face glowing a soft rosy red.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" She growled angrily.

Patrick simply smiled innocently back at her. "I don't know what you mean."

"Why the hell are there sunflowers all over my office?"

Jane stood and moved towards her closing the distance of the bullpen in a matter of seconds. His innocent smile slipping away to be was quickly replaced with the teasing smile that always made Lisbon's heart skip.

He stopped inches from her, his eyes never leaving Lisbon's.

"They're your favorite flower," he said simply.

Lisbon starred at him for several seconds before she found her voice. "How did you know that?"

Jane grinned and brushed her dark curls out of her face. "If you don't like them I can get rid of them."

Lisbon's face turned a deeper shade of red, and with a huff dropped her gaze from Jane's. They stood to close, and his gentle gesture felt to intimate.

"You can leave at anytime Jane," Lisbon said trying to hide her embarrassment.

"You don't really want me to go, you'd miss me."

As she turned away from him she whispered only loud enough for him to hear, "maybe I would."

_I know that if you are reading this, then it's over. We got Red John and you're finally free. You had to have known it wouldn't be simple Patrick, he is to smart for that._

* * *

The glow of candles lit the small room with a dim orange haze.

Swat stood with them their black kevlar making them seem like ghosts in the shadows. Lisbon and her team took lead, everyone knew that swat should go in first, but Red John was theirs and no one even thought to dispute it.

The small room was bare save a second door directly across from them.

A calm cold voice echoed around them as they entered, welcoming each of Lisbon's team by name.

If there was something worse than having a psychotic serial killer sound happy to see you, Lisbon couldn't think of it in that moment. Not that she had much time to think as the sound of a bulkhead slamming closed, locking her team and herself in the small dim room, and swat outside.

It was impossible for any of them to hide the flicker of fear that passed through them, and he was quick to pick up on it.

"Now you understand finally." Red John's cool voice was tinted with the smile they couldn't yet see. "Even when you win Jane, you still lose."

* * *

_I know that you have every intention of killing him, and I know why. We all do, but I won't let you kill him Patrick. Not if I can stop you. I need you to know it's not because I want to see him alive, I hope I get a reason to shoot him, but it's because of what it will do to you. You're not a monster Patrick, and I will do everything in my power to make sure he doesn't make you one. _

* * *

"I'm rather surprised at you Mr. Jane. I had expected you to come alone, and for them to have to follow you here. Yet what a delightful gift I have been given, to have your playthings here with us."

Lisbon looked at each of her agents in turn, her eyes dancing dangerously. Red John was messing with them, and with a simple look she reminded them of it.

He wanted to divide them, but it wouldn't work.

"Although perhaps I shouldn't be," Red John continued seemingly ignoring the silent conversation that had gone on among his prisoners. "I knew she would be your undoing Mr. Jane. Such a pity to waste yourself Mr. Jane on her emerald green, however delicious she may be."

Jane's eyes darted up to meet Lisbon's. She starred back silently, trying to hide the cold chill that passed through her.

The cold laugh that echoed around them, told her she had failed.

* * *

_ Men like him will never understand what people are willing to sacrifice for the ones they care about. He'll never understand it Patrick and that's why no matter the cost I'm glad we did it. I'm glad it's over._

* * *

"You have an interesting opportunity Mr. Jane, one I have been waiting years to give you, and you have been waiting for it just as I have."

They all were looking at him; Jane could feel their eyes as they watched for some reaction to the words they didn't understand. They couldn't understand, and for that Jane was thankful.

"Since the night I met your beautiful wife and daughter, and now your team Jane."

Jane looked for her then, and Lisbon met his stare evenly, questioningly if only for a second. The second passed and realization dawned on her face, turning it pale under her glittering eyes. She shook her head ever so slightly. No one would have noticed it unless they had been watching her; unfortunately Jane wasn't the only one who was.

"Or perhaps it would be more courteous to offer the opportunity to you Teresa."

The words pierced her and the sadness was almost too much, Teresa turned away from her team. She knew the looks of confusion that would be on her agent's faces, and she couldn't explain his deceptive ultimatum. She knew that Jane's horrified stare was watching her, and she couldn't face it.

The sound of the lock clicking before them made the silence seem that much louder. Lisbon knew what was coming, knew the choice Red John had given her. Herself for her team, it was an easy choice.

* * *

_ I'm sorry I waited so long to tell you, Patrick, but I love you. I wish we had more time, but whatever happens please don't give up. I want you to be happy, and to be free, not just of him, but of the memories to._

* * *

They say that time slows down when you're dying, but Teresa Lisbon knows better. It was the seconds before the explosion of pain that seemed to last forever.

She had moved toward the door her eyes not meeting those of her team. She reached the door an instant before Jane reached her, and slipped through it. She heard his voice shouting at her as she walked in to the arms of the man that would kill her.

* * *

_I never knew your wife Patrick, but I have to believe she loved you as much as you loved her, just as I love you. So I will speak for both of us when I beg you to let yourself be happy. _

* * *

The sound of voices, and sirens were nothing more than a dull roar in her mind. All that existed was the feel of his knife in her, and his cold whisper in her ear.

Shots rang out and someone's hands were on her. They were gentle unlike his, and didn't bring the pain she was expecting.

"Lisbon. Lisbon. Teresa," it was Jane's shaken voice in her ear, and she smiled through the pain.

"I I'm sso-sorry," her voice came out in an almost silent rasp.

"Stay with me Teresa."

"I'm s-so-rry, I c-can't."

"Please Teresa," Jane begged.

The tears spilled down her bloody face as she tried to open her eyes, she had to see him, had to make him understand before she wasn't strong enough.

"My desk…l-letter…for you," Teresa said through gasping raspy breaths.

His hand touched her face lightly and his blue eyes were brimmed with tears.

"Please, Teresa, stay with me."

"Love you."

"I know Teresa and I love you."

She smiled into his blue eyes and let the pain take her into darkness, the sound of his confession accompanying her into the stillness.

* * *

_I'll always be with you Patrick, I love you. Forever yours Teresa. _

* * *

The cold sprinkle of rain should have chilled Jane, but he could hardly notice it. The damp ground his only anchor keeping him from the promise of oblivion Countless angels, stones, and crosses lay spread out in rows all around him, but his eyes never strayed from the one before him.

A beautiful little angel with her eyes up to the sky and her hands closed in prayer. She was the guardian of the closest thing to an angel he had ever known.

Jane's tears fell silently as he pulled himself from the hard wet ground.

The small head stone was covered in beautiful sunflowers, just as it always would be, but he knew the words the little stone said, more clearly than any he had ever known.

**Teresa Lisbon**

** Beloved sister and friend. A saint above angels**.

Patrick Jane turned from the little grave whispering a secret the little angel guardian had heard a hundred times from his lips. A single word that brought the tears of heaven down to earth…

"_Forever"_


	2. Distractions

Fluffy ending to Whispers of Forever

Part one: Distractions

* * *

A/N: Okay so this was suppose to be a one shot but then Melraemorgan asked what would have happened if Jane had got there first, and well Jane just wouldn't shut up so…Here is the second ending (which is going to be in two parts) which is also at least a little more fluffy than the first. Enjoy.

And thank you Melraemorgan for the idea of a different ending. =)

* * *

"_Or perhaps it would be more courteous to offer the opportunity to you Teresa." _

Red John's words echoed through the small room and time seemed to slow. Jane watched as a piercing calm over took Lisbon's features. She didn't look at any of them as she moved toward the now open door. None of the others seemed to have understood what was about to happen but he did. Jane knew what Red John had offered her, and what she was excepting without a thought.

"No," his voice was hardly audible as he moved towards her, trying to stop her in time. The thought of loosing her was more pain than he ever expected, and he knew he had to reach her before she slipped through the door and away from him forever.

Jane reached her just as she crossed the threshold of the door, his arms suddenly pulling her back into the confines of the small room, and away from the man responsible for year's worth of nightmares.

"I have to," she hissed trying to pull away from the safety of Jane's arms.

"I won't let you take her, or any of them." Jane growled his voice spitting in anger.

For all her ferociousness Lisbon was still a small woman and it wasn't difficult for Jane to half carry half drag her back towards the rest of the team.

The cold laughter echoing around them seemed to pull the rest of the team from their stunned silence, although they instantly wished they could melt into the furniture, of course Jane and Lisbon would have to have "the" talk while standing in a locked room with the rest of the team while a crazy serial killer plotted their deaths in the other. It just seemed to be the way it would work for them.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Jane demanded his grip on the small woman in his arm's slackening as she placed a well aimed kick to his knee.

"What do you think, you're the psychic remember!" Lisbon snapped angrily.

"Damn it Lisbon he would have killed you," Jane growled no longer caring that Red John was listening to every word they said.

"Don't you think I know that?" She demanded coldly, and finally Jane released her from his arms.

The door clicked shut and Lisbon knew that her chance was lost. She kept her back to her team, and especially to Jane.

"You would have gone to him that easily?" Jane asked all anger slipping from his voice.

"He gave me a choice, Jane; it was an easy one to make."

"He wouldn't have let us go, you have to know that."

Lisbon lent on the wall for support, sometimes the smartest man she knew was a real moron.

"She knew that Patrick" said a cold voice, "she was counting on me killing her slowly enough to give your back up enough time to come and save you. Noble really, one life in exchange for four."

Lisbon felt a cold chill pass through her but she didn't raise her head, she had to stall him somehow. Had to make Red John wait long enough for help to arrive, and naturally Jane gave her the perfect way.

"Three."Jane's voice was soft but it echoed in the enclosed space.

Lisbon glanced up at him surprised, and Jane caught her eyes locking them with his.

"There are four of you in here," Lisbon said as coldly as she could.

"But only three you'd die for."

"You're a crappy psychic if you think that's true." She snarled.

"I must agree with Teresa, Patrick," Red John's amused voice said. "She was dying for you, perhaps more than any of the others."

Jane continued on as if Red John hadn't spoken. "I'm not really a psychic remember, and they are your team."

Something passed in his eyes, and she knew this conversation was for Red John, knew that it was Jane's way of stalling, but there was an undercurrent of truth in his words that made her next ones harsher than she had meant them to be.

"So are you."

"I never meant to be."

"It was your stupid idea."

"I didn't want to be apart of your team Lisbon you knew that, I just wanted…"

"Red John," She finished for him.

"Mr. Jane I'm flattered, but I'm a poor excuse to give. Try again, and perhaps this time the truth, you didn't stay with the CBI for my sake, but for hers."

It was Lisbon's turn to ignore Red John but part of her prayed he would interrupt again, this time ending the conversation. It was already in dangerous territory, and she knew that distraction or not, this was no longer just meant to bide time.

"You could have left at any time, Jane. I would have helped you pack if I thought it would make you leave sooner," Lisbon snapped allowing all of her anger to flood into her words.

"You would have missed me," Jane teased but it didn't meet his eyes.

"Don't be so sure."

The pain that passed in his eyes was real and for a second Lisbon regretted her words. Did he really believe her?

"I don't like liar's Teresa," Red John growled, and they were surprised by the malice in his voice. "It is impossible not to miss the one you love, which is why you never made him leave, and why I so wanted to meet you face to face."

No one on the team could hide the chill that passed through them at his words, but he didn't give them time to respond.

Suddenly a white gas began pouring into the room from several air vents.

"But it seems I will have to settle for knowing that you all died together. Good bye Mr. Jane."

"Get down as low as you can," Lisbon ordered dropping to her knees.

Soon the entire team was lying on the floor coughing through the ever thickening fog around them. Until one by one they all passed out from the fumes.

Some where in the distance Jane could hear gunfire, and then the echoes of voices, but the darkness was to comforting to welcoming, and soon he found himself falling into the shadows of unconsciousness.

* * *

Jane woke to the irritating sounds of bleeping machines and hushed voices.

"I think he's coming to," Rigsby's worried voice break through the haze and Jane felt himself smiling.

"Oww," Jane complained softly, as a sudden pounding in his head droned out the beeping machines, but he still and heard three relieved sighs.

Slowly Jane opened his eyes to see Cho standing beside the foot of his bed, looking the same as ever. Rigsby looked tiered but he stood with his hand resting on Van Pelt's shoulder. Grace was the only one of the three sitting. She looked extremely pale but other wise un harmed.

"Don't worry man," Rigsby said lightly. "The head ache goes away in a few hours."

"That's what he told me," Grace said her voice soft and fragile, "but it hasn't yet."

"You've been awake for less than an hour," Rigsby said defensively.

Glancing around the room Jane noticed there was one face he didn't see. Looking up to meet Cho's eyes he could see the agent's face was tight and drawn.

"Where's Lisbon?" Jane asked his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, terrified of the answer.

"She hasn't woken up yet," Grace said gently taking Jane's hand in her own trembling one. "But the doctors say she should wake up some time in the next few days."

"How long have I?" Jane asks his eyes flickering from each member of the team.

"Two days," Rigsby said his voice shaking slightly.

"Rigsby was the first one to wake up, then Cho," Grace said gently looking up at Rigsby with a soft smile. "I only woke up a little while ago."

"Where is she?" Jane asks trying to sit up.

Cho rests a hand on Jane's shoulder lightly pushing him back to the bed.

"The room next door. They had her and Van Pelt in the same room." Cho said his voice uncharacteristically gentle. "Rigsby take Grace back to bed, if the nurse see's her out of bed again, they'll cuff her to it."

Grace let out a soft huff that reminded Jane distinctly of Lisbon as she allowed Rigsby to lead her back into her own room.

"How is she really?" Jane demanded the moment Grace and Rigsby were out of ear shot.

"The gas was toxic, a few more minuets and we all would have been dead."

"But how is Lisbon," Jane demanded ignoring Cho's unspecific answer.

"Her heart stopped in the ambulance, they didn't think she was going to make it, she was on life support until earlier this morning. She's breathing on her own but still in a coma. She's strong Jane she won't stop fighting."

Jane lent back into his pillows and closed his eyes. Damn that woman. First she tries to give herself up to Red John and then…Red John. Jane's eyes spring open, and Cho recognizing the question in Jane eyes smiles.

"He's dead. Swat put a bullet in his head."

Jane felt himself relax, and realized he was extremely tired.

"Stay with her," Jane mumbled through the haze of sleep.

Cho chuckled and put a hand on Jane's shoulder. "Don't worry we got her back, and yours."


	3. Forever begins with a kiss

Part two: Forever begins with a kiss

* * *

"_Don't worry we got her back, and yours."_

Cho's words echoed through Jane's surreal dream.

He and Lisbon were back in the small room, this time joined by Red John, but his face was nothing more than a bleeding red smiley face. Lisbon's tear stained face starred back at him dozens of questions dancing in her eyes.

_"Mr. Jane perhaps this time the truth…" _

The truth? What truth?

_"You could have left at any time, Jane…" _Her words were harsh, filled with anger and pain. He never meant to hurt her.

He could never leave Lisbon surly she knew that. He needed her. She kept him grounded, in line, and sane. He drove her crazy not to spite her but to help take her mind off whatever it was, off everything except him.

_"You would have missed me."_ Jane teased

_"Don't be so sure." _That was the look he hated above all others, the look of guarded pain. He had seen it to often lately.

Did she mean that? He would miss her surly she would miss him. He couldn't imagine his life without her, but he never expected that in return. Never dared hope that she might feel the same, but surly she would at least miss him.

_"Mr. Jane…the truth…"_

What truth? What truth do you want?

_"They are your team." _Jane growled. What did she want him to say?

The tears fell from Lisbon's eyes and Jane knew the answer before she ever spoke. 

_"So are you."_

Jane woke with a start forgetting momentarily that he was still in his uncomfortable hospital bed instead of his comfy and safe couch.

Cho was asleep in a chair beside his bed.

"_Don't worry we got her back, and yours."_ Cho's words echoed in Jane's head once again, and he smiled. They were his team.

Silently Jane slipped out of his bed and as quietly possible slipped out of the room, and into the one next door. Grace was asleep in her hospital bed, and Rigsby was sleeping in a chair beside her, his head resting on the bed.

Jane smiled at them, but moved on to the focus of his concern.

Lisbon lay in her bed, eyes closed, and her chest rising and falling slowly.

Jane touched her face lightly, and brushed her dark curls from her face. She never stirred, but Jane felt more at ease. _His team. His family. His Lisbon. _

Tomorrow when the nurses came for their rounds he would be in trouble, he knew it, but as he slid onto the bed beside her he couldn't make himself care. His last thought before he fell into a dreamless sleep was, _his Lisbon. _

* * *

"Up you get," Cho's calm voice said, as a myriad of hands helped him slowly from his nice warm comfortable place beside her.

"Let me stay," Jane said through his sleep educed haze.

He heard Rigsby chuckle softly as the two men led Jane back to his own bed.

"Trust me you don't want the nurses to find you in sleeping beauty's bed tomorrow. You'll be wishing all they did was hand cuff you to your own."

"Sleeping beauty?"Jane questioned his mind not quite comprehending.

Rigsby wasn't the only one to chuckle this time, and even half asleep, Jane recognized how odd it was to hear Cho laugh.

"It's what the nurses here call Lisbon. I think they have gotten rather attached to her" Rigsby told him, and without looking Jane could hear the smile on the other man's face.

"Sleeping beauty," Jane murmured to himself more than to the others. He would have to remember that.

* * *

It had been two days since Jane had first woken up in St. Mary's hospital, with a pounding headache, and a pulling at his heart that he had been ignoring for years.

The headache had finally gone away but the harsh tugging had only gotten worse.

Lisbon was still unconscious. He wanted to be there at the hospital, but he had been unable to charm the nurses into allowing him to stay in her room, and as the rest of the team had been released Jane had been shoed from her room.

That was why he was sitting in her office, at almost midnight starring at the desk before him, the dim light of the lamp the only company he had. It was in her top drawer. No one ever would have found it under normal circumstances. Teresa knew Patrick would be the one sitting in her dark office; she had left it there for him before they went after Red John.

The letter had torn at his heart in more ways than he knew how to describe.

"Jane?" A soft confused voice stated as she opened the door.

He starred up at her in disbelief. He was sure he had to be dreaming.

"What are you doing in my office?" Lisbon asked leaning on the door frame for support.

"What are you doing out of bed?" He demanded angrily moving to her side quick enough to startle her.

"The doctors released me, so I took a cab here. What are you doing in my office?" She repeated starring at him. Her face was still pale and a little flushed, but she was giving him the death stare so he knew that sleeping beauty was on her way to being back to normal.

"You should be in bed."

"Don't start Jane," Lisbon growled softly. "You sound like my nurses."

He grinned but decided it was best to save calling her sleeping beauty to her face for another night.

"Sit down," he ordered pulling her from the door frame and leading her to her chair.

"Jane," she growled softly but he could see in her face how tired she really was.

Less than a foot from her desk Lisbon froze fear and complete embarrassment flooding through her.

Jane glanced up as she stiffened and saw that her eyes had rested on the open letter.

"You didn't." There was an almost pleading in her voice, and if he hadn't been so entranced by it he would have teased her.

"Oh I did," Jane whispered against her hair, and Lisbon felt a thrill pass through her entire body.

"Jane…" she began with absolutely no idea how to explain the letter away.

"Tell me my dear," he whispered again allowing his hands to slide from her shoulders to her waist, her head rested against his chest and he felt her breath hitch. "When did you decide he was going to kill you? When he gave you the choice, or when you sat in you dim office in the days before we went after him?"

She knew that if he had read the letter then he already knew the answer. If she had been in any condition she would have turned and stormed out of her own office, her face glowing amber red, just to put space in between them. As it was, Jane's arms were the only thing keeping her on her feet.

"I suppose another question would be did you decide you were going to die before or after you realized you were in love with me?"

That was it she had to put space between them, forgetting that her legs were hardly holding her Lisbon pulled herself from his arms only to stumble into her desk. His arms were there only seconds later, turning her to face him as he pushed her up against her desk.

"Well Teresa? I'm waiting." Jane breathed softly.

He was to close, wedging her between him and the desk behind her.

"Jane…" She started to shake her head not knowing how to explain, but anything that she could have said was pushed away as his lips crashed down on hers.

The kiss was anything but gentle as he wrapped his arms around her. His nipped at her bottom lip causing her to whimper.

One of his hands found its way from her waist to her hair and his fingers tangled themselves into her soft dark curls. When his tong slipped across her lips demanding entrance Teresa didn't hesitate before parting her lips allowing him inside.

His tong explored her mouth harshly as the hand on her back slipped under her shirt to touch the soft skin of her back.

He heard her sudden intake of breath at the feel of his hands on her bare skin and pulled back slightly.

She starred at him dazed and he coolly reminded himself that she had just been released form hospital.

Teresa tried several times to make her mouth from the words she needed to, but the taste of his mouth was keeping her from forming coherent words.

"Jane I…"

Patrick placed a finger to her lips and shook his head, "its Patrick to you Teresa, no more last names."

"but I.."

"You promised me forever woman, and I intend to take advantage of every moment of it, starting with a kiss."

Suddenly his lips were against hers again, this time gentle and teasing.

It took several seconds fro Teresa to understand what he had said, but when she did, she felt her face grow hot as she wrapped her arms around his shoulder's leaning into his kiss.

Forever suddenly didn't seem so lonely.


End file.
